scythe_lucifer | (no subject)

I'm not super familiar myself.

[ He admits this with an easy, unperturbed shrug, even as he turns to survey the wall of liquor bottles in search of one that will do. ]

I didn't drink all that much at home. Wasn't technically legal. And I've only had this job a little more than a week. Sweet or something that burns? That I can do.

Something that burns.

( that's what he prefers. sweet is for baked goods and desserts that he'd rather avoid. he wants something that burns, that let's him know that he's alive and that the drink is working. )

Were you able to enjoy yourself after I left you at that hotel?

( he'd seemed to hesitate in letting him leave for a moment but ultimately, geralt had walked away. )

[ He's not good at mixing drinks yet, and this is solely intended to get Geralt drunk, so Rowan grabs for tequila -- of medium quality, he doesn't want to rack up too much of a bill -- and shot glasses.

He sets them up on the bar in front of Geralt and pours them each a shot.

He does so with focus, trying to rein in the telltale blush that floods over his face. ]

Um. Sorta.

Sort of?

( geralt raises an eyebrow at that blush and then snickers. )

Does that mean someone offered you fun and you took them up on it?

( good job, rowan. )

[ He licks his lips and pushes a full shot glass towards Geralt. He takes up his own and downs it in one go, but winces heavily at the taste and burn. He's not really a drinker.

And he's not really a talker, but he doesn't really want this reputation to start about him being okay with what happens here. ]

Her drink was spiked. It wasn't... exactly what either of us wanted.

Hm.

( geralt reaches for the glass and tosses it back, feeling it burn as he swallows. it's a good burn, one that's familiar. he drops the glass back on the counter and eyes rowan. )

So, you didn't enjoy yourself?

( he notices that rowan's avoided mentioning anything about that. )

[ His lips part and he draws in breath like he's about to answer, but before he can he abandons the words.

The guilt is strong with this one. Does admitting he liked it mean something about him? That he's easily manipulated or interested in those that have to have him, only? ]

I didn't say that.

[ He pours them another round. ]

It's just ... not what I wanted. Or thought I wanted. I don't know.

So, what is it you want?

( he seems to be hemming and hawing over what he wants to do and who he wants to do it with. he makes a decision only to take it back. geralt reaches for his glass again. )

You're here, you're going to have to fuck people, so how do you want that to go?

[ Rowan sighs heavily but through his nose, annoyed, stupidly, by Geralt's phrasing. Like he doesn't know what's expected of him here. But now that he knows what it's like to be out of his own control, and to be with someone out of their control, he's at least more secure in some things. ]

I do want someone to want me. And for things to go at their own pace. Fast or slow, whatever. Just, I don't want Duplicity and LIES pulling my strings quite so obviously as that.

[ That's just for a start. ]

You sound like you want a relationship.

( overrated in his opinion but if that's what the kid wants. still, he's not doing much for the pathetic label geralt had given him.

he tips his glass back and swallows his drink. )

That's cute.

( he's not sorry. )

[ Rowan exhales through his nose again and gives Geralt a displeased look. ]

I'm not an idiot. I'm not, like, looking for love. [ He has that back home and he's getting to the point where he thinks Citra would understand. ]

But is it really so wrong to want to talk to somebody for five minutes before jumping into bed with them?

I suppose it entirely depends on what you're wanting out of the situation. There have been times where I haven't.

( because they've been prostitutes and he'd paid for what he wanted. he's not ashamed. )

Sometimes, talking just gets in the way of a tension release.

[ Rowan looks at him at that, considering. ]

I guess I just got other ways to relieve tension.

[ That said, he could also see how his methods would just create more tension, if he's not careful. ]

You know they say meditation helps.

So does running someone through with a sword but I don't think I can run around doing that without repercussions.

( so, he'll just enjoy doing what this place wants him to do. )

I'm not trying to convince you to do something you don't want to do. But, I can tell you it's fun, talking or not. Loosen up.

[ He reels back a touch from that, the casual mention of violence. Which, in Rowan's world, is totally normal, but here? Here he thought people could be more concerned. ]

You've got a sword?

[ He shakes his head slightly. ]

You say that, but... I mean, what's your definition of loose? Just grabbing someone and saying, hey, want to fuck?

Two.

( and he's not about to give those up without a fight so he's glad this pace didn't try and take them from him. it wouldn't have been a good time. )

And no, I don't do that. ( he's not that much of a brute, okay. ) But if the interest is there, I'm not going to turn away.

( he shrugs a shoulder. )

It's usually easy to tell if that sort of interest is there, I think. And I like sex. I'm not ashamed of that.

[ Rowan lifts an eyebrow. ]

Feel like a spar ever, let me know.

[ He just lets that sit there because, apparently, the more important thing is this discussion of sex.

Belatedly, he refills their glasses, then sets the bottle down on the counter so Geralt can do so himself whenever he likes. ]

You have an easy time judging interest? Maybe that's just an experience thing.

( oh, you didn't know what you were asking for there, rowan. )

I will.

( that was definitely going to happen at some point. even if people weren't hiring him for jobs, he was still going to keep himself sharp. )

I think I do. But, I get the feeling I'm much older than you and more experienced. Nothing wrong with it, it's just how it is.

"I'm nineteen," Rowan points out without hesitation or shame. "I've had one girl who's ever really interested me and I her, and most of our relationship has been... long distance."

He shakes his head before knocking back another drink.

"This is basically my tailor-made nightmare." It's not. He's had far, far worse nightmares. But in terms of what regular nineteen year old Rowan might have feared? This would be right up there.

"You're young," Geralt says because he is. In comparison to him, most people are very young. He can barely remember what he'd been doing at nineteen. Probably the same thing he was doing now except he wasn't as jaded and cynical as he was now.

"I think you're in trouble if this is a nightmare for you," Geralt points out considering this is what they were being tasked to do. He eyes Rowan, giving him a quick look before he shakes his head.

"People will be interested in you," he says, nodding down at his glass. "If you want them to be."

"If I want them to be?" Rowan echoes doubtfully. "I didn't think that was how it worked."

Besides, he only really wants one person to be interested in him, he thinks, and she's an entire dimension away.

"Not a nightmare like I'm going to freak out, but a nightmare like--" Like he's scared? Yeah. A little. But he's not about to admit that to the man in front of him, no matter how much his mouth wants to run away from him.

"Like showing up to school naked. Or forgetting everybody's name. That kind of nightmare."

"If you act like this is a nightmare and that you're not interested, people are going to pick up on it and probably leave you alone."

Which wasn't an entirely bad thing except in a place like this where you had to fuck at least three people. It's an easily attainable goal for him but apparently some others might have some issues with it.

"The only way I can see you getting over your...nightmare is to find someone that you don't hate and fuck them until you're ready for other people."

He shrugs. It seems like a good enough idea to him. "Work up from there."

Edited 2021-02-10 00:44 (UTC)

Rowan sighs as he helps himself to another drink. At this rate, he feels he's gonna get drunk before Geralt.

"I don't hate a lot of people," Rowan points out. "Shit, I don't hate you. But pretending like I'm okay in order to seem fuckable feels like a lot."

He idly spins the shot glass on the counter top.

"I'm not actually as miserable as I seem," he points out. "You just seem unlucky with me." Or so he thinks.

"Lucky for you, I don't mind people who are miserable." Since he spent a lot of time like that himself. He actually does a lot better with people who aren't incredibly happy and exuberant.

Geralt reaches for his drink and tosses it back again, feeling that burn once more and blowing out a breath.

"I don't hate you either," he adds after a moment because it's true. He doesn't really understand the burden Rowan's carrying about sex but he's probably not the best person to look to when it comes to emotions.

Because he tries to ignore that he has any.

"Don't pretend," Geralt tells him, sitting up and fixing him with a look. "Do whatever the fuck you want but you don't have to pretend. That's pointless."

Rowan arches a brow. "So you just like to point out that they're miserable, in case they missed it?" Because honestly Rowan had thought that initial comment on that night in the hotel, that he looked ill, had been more of a jab than an observation. But Rowan takes a lot of things personally that perhaps he shouldn't.

He catches that look and holds it.

"So you're not pretending, ever, about anything?"

Rowan highly doubts it. At this rate, from his experiences, he's thinking everyone has a shady side.